As I'm wrapping up my week's blogging on being deaf, you may be asking yourself, well, what are some do's and don't's when I meet someone who is deaf? Let me share what I've learned over the years and from my deaf friends.
First, it's up to me to share that I am deaf. It's not called the "invisible handicap" for nothing. If you were to meet me, my hair covers my one hearing aid. Most likely, you're not going to see me signing and my voice is not significantly "deaf". So, my normal introduction when meeting someone new is to say, "I wear a hearing aid. I need to see your face when you speak to me. Otherwise, please, just be yourself. If I can't hear you, I will tell you.".
Funnily enough, the first thing that comes out of THEIR mouths is an apology! You have absolutely nothing to apologize for! I have never, ever understood this response. It's not their fault I'm deaf. They didn't do anything wrong or offensive... If someone can enlighten me, I'd be grateful!
Second, please know, I'm going to do everything I can and give you my full concentration in order to understand you. Also, so you don't have to repeat yourself ten thousand bazillion times which will frustrate both of us. However, if I really cannot understand you no matter what (I don't think this has ever happened to me), a piece of paper and pencil works good. Knowing that I'm trying to understand, please, be patient with me. Getting angry with me over something I have no control over doesn't help anything. You wouldn't yell at a blind person for not being able to see something would you?
Third, just because I lipread very well, doesn't mean all deaf people do. This is where I feel strongly that a deaf person needs to share what works for them. If someone does lipread, please, don't cover your mouth with your hand! Don't be looking down at your phone or what you are writing. I'm more than happy to be patient until you're finished. If you're standing in front of a bright window, I need to move because it's more difficult to see your face. Don't even get me started on mustaches which are the bane of my existence! Lipreading through hair is not my favorite past time! lol
Fourth, you don't need to over-enunciate your words, yell or invade my personal body space in order for me to understand you. Believe me, I've had all three just in the last week alone. Talk to me like you would anyone else, just make sure I can see you.
Fifth, don't treat me like I'm "dumb". "Deaf and dumb" was created to refer to someone's ability to speak, not their intelligence. I've had people tell me I shouldn't be a Mom or drive. REALLY? My driving record is perfect with not one ticket. I was a foster parent for many years with five of my own kids. Not one child - ever - was hurt or neglected due to my lack of hearing. My kids would probably say they got away with less than their peers because they were rarely out of my sight!!
I'd love to answer any more questions about deafness or help anyone who has recently experienced a hearing loss. I'm very sure that this topic will come up again.
Thanks for stopping by! Stay tuned for next week's topic...of which I am not sure of yet! lol
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